a little rant

For believers, their only purpose is to make god happy.

A god who is omnieverything is somehow not happy if you live for yourself, and perhaps those around you.

And you're the selfish one for living such a vile way to not satisfy god.

I finally took a step

Today I finally made a step in my skeptical life of pointing out something that was mentioned by CFI but not backed up. I felt nervous for some reason, which is probably due to it being my first time and being afraid that what I was saying was either wrong due to me missing something and/or I was scared of the rebuttal, which is probably the biggest reason for my fear of not saying anything in the first place.

I did get a response and I don't know if I should make another rebuttal or not. It turns out I was right in what I said, but the reason was that there footage was intermittent and they couldn't get what I was looking for. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to just let it go and believe them or to claim bullshit. Would the skeptic not claim bullshit? I'm still new to this and will be for a while.

I can feel it

I'm sure I've written about this before, or not. I keep finding myself in the position of wanting to become very active in the atheist (separation of church and state) and gay movements, but have yet to take any action. I know I'm not very knowledgeable on either topic when it comes to law, history, and other things. I know I could not go into a debate well armed. I'm ready to jump out of this damn shell I've been stuck in my whole life. I'm ready to scream...

getting there

There are only 9 class days left of my current next-to-last class of my undergraduate career. Being taught in less than 5 1/2 weeks makes for an intense course, especially for an upper level math course. We're doing well plugging through it but I kept having a hard time keeping concepts in my memory even if I understood them when I was reading about them. This made for some suck moments of not getting newer topics, some of which I kept trying to understand and could not so I have been going over all of the sections yet again, along with doing practice problems to drill them in my head. I still have the four latest sections to get to, which I have only slightly touched. When I say slightly, I mean either I have only touched it through class lecture or I have gone through it with no understanding. We have the largest homework assignment due in 2 days and I still have over half of the old stuff to get through before I even get to the homework topics. Ball suck'n.

At least I'm learning something. I have been wondering lately if I was ever really going to learn anything in my degree. I am sure that I have learned more than I really think, but there is just, probably/hopefully, some suppression that I still have yet to release in order to let it flow. I feel that this is the case with my drumming skills. I always feel afraid to just let go and let it all flow, which makes everything I play sort of choppy and on the verge of catastrophe. I suppose almost every aspect of my life is that way.

On a good note, I have been running everyday with the exception of one, for 17 days now. I'm not sure if it is due to the running but I have noticed just in the last couple of days that I don't feel the weird need to have to sleep 12 hours at a time only to be tired anyways. I'm also noticing that I am drinking less coffee, though, I'm not sure by how much.

I've made it my goal to run a marathon. I know I have a long ways to go. With the exception of one day, all of my running has been on an elliptical machine. The one day I ran on ground was a major difference on the legs and made me realize that I have a long ways to go. I want to build my lungs up first and then hit the distance thing. A marathon would be awesome and a major stepping stone in my life on top of being a healthy, positive, constructive goal to have.