getting there

There are only 9 class days left of my current next-to-last class of my undergraduate career. Being taught in less than 5 1/2 weeks makes for an intense course, especially for an upper level math course. We're doing well plugging through it but I kept having a hard time keeping concepts in my memory even if I understood them when I was reading about them. This made for some suck moments of not getting newer topics, some of which I kept trying to understand and could not so I have been going over all of the sections yet again, along with doing practice problems to drill them in my head. I still have the four latest sections to get to, which I have only slightly touched. When I say slightly, I mean either I have only touched it through class lecture or I have gone through it with no understanding. We have the largest homework assignment due in 2 days and I still have over half of the old stuff to get through before I even get to the homework topics. Ball suck'n.

At least I'm learning something. I have been wondering lately if I was ever really going to learn anything in my degree. I am sure that I have learned more than I really think, but there is just, probably/hopefully, some suppression that I still have yet to release in order to let it flow. I feel that this is the case with my drumming skills. I always feel afraid to just let go and let it all flow, which makes everything I play sort of choppy and on the verge of catastrophe. I suppose almost every aspect of my life is that way.

On a good note, I have been running everyday with the exception of one, for 17 days now. I'm not sure if it is due to the running but I have noticed just in the last couple of days that I don't feel the weird need to have to sleep 12 hours at a time only to be tired anyways. I'm also noticing that I am drinking less coffee, though, I'm not sure by how much.

I've made it my goal to run a marathon. I know I have a long ways to go. With the exception of one day, all of my running has been on an elliptical machine. The one day I ran on ground was a major difference on the legs and made me realize that I have a long ways to go. I want to build my lungs up first and then hit the distance thing. A marathon would be awesome and a major stepping stone in my life on top of being a healthy, positive, constructive goal to have.